Stuff.

OMG I'm still trying!

I'm laughing at myself right now... I haven't written in here in a long time, but I'm still trying. So far, I've written him twice and invited him to the Texas Renaissance Festival.. and once I made a video asking him.

I've pretty much given up the stalking biz, I'm terrible at it. LOL

Yeah

Not much news on this front. Just a minute ago I was scrolling through some websites, killing some time before I leave my office to meet up with some friends to see a friend's band...

I came across James on Live with Kelly and Michael talking about that 17 year old girl - (who could have at the very least spent some time getting to know him, yet instead, decided to post the conversation for the entire world.) and how he was embarrassed.

I mentioned that he has to go through the whole awkward trying to meet someone, and then it's a lot more awkward because the whole world gets to see it, hear it, etc.

It reminded me that I actually DID make some sort of half-assed attempt to meet him. In October, there is this masquerade party. I really wanted to go... it's the first year it's happening... it's at the Texas Renaissance Festival... I think it's going to be fabulous.  What's not to love about the whole idea??

A masquerade ball, everyone in costume, it's beautiful and romantic, and yes... I was wishing I could get a date. Not just any date though... a date with my imaginary boyfriend James Franco.

I'd had some insomnia one night, and the morning after, as I sat there and drank my coffee and attempted to wake up enough to face the day... I concocted this scheme.

I created a hand drawn invitation to James, it was in the style of a royal decree... and then I flipped it over and wrote him a letter. I told him I wasn't expecting him to fall head over heels.. that it would be a lot of fun, that he could go incognito since it's a masquerade... etc.

THEN I MAILED IT.

I included my phone number, and it had a return address. I sent it to the theatre where Of Mice and Men was playing...

Nope. No response. Yes, that sort of makes me sad... I rehearsed while driving my car back and forth to work, what I would say when he called me.

"Hi" "yes of course I know who this is, I would recognize your voice anywhere"...

Realistically... no I didn't expect a response, but the little girl on the inside... the one that still believes in fairy tales... she's crushed. So... I write this blog.

Today

I'm still angry at myself for freezing... but I'll always have the memory of him smiling at me. Even if I can't prove it. LOL

Yeah, I'm still going to keep trying... Hey Teddy... I know a LOT of great places for coffee in Houston. Call me when you are in town, I'll hook you up.

Random with lots of dirty words

This morning I'm feeling super random. I'm pissy, pissed off, crazy, determined to not let bullshit get in my way.

Some days I wake up and I feel like I can take on the world, the synapses in my brain work properly and the tasks that I need to accomplish just "work". Other days, I have to really concentrate on what I'm doing just to tie my damn shoes.

I'm working really hard... I don't mind that... I just fucking hate being broke all the time. So, I go and attempt to locate a second job, and that falls flat. Yes, I think that my current position is paying me a fair market rate. No, it's not on the top end of the salary for developers, but I have good perks also. So it evens out.

I've taken on a lot of responsibilities in the past year, I bought a house, my mom and step-dad moved in, I adopted a dog that just showed up at my house a couple of months ago... just average gal's daily life. Maybe I'm just having one of those days where it seems like the harder I attempt to make some headway in the mountains of shit that's piled on top of me, the more I get shit on? The truck breaks down, the car tags expire, just normal every day stuff that for whatever reason has become unbearable.

Whatever.

What next?

Several people have asked me what my next attempt will consist of... I'm thinking about it. I mean, I don't have the money or the time to just go run off to random places in the hopes that I'll meet him on the street while carrying around my copy of Palo Alto...I'm kind of on a very strict budget. So even the trip to Austin was pushing it for me.

Next place I know he'll be near me is next winter when he's at U of H. And that's only if he doesn't postpone it again.

So, I guess I'll have to wait a year, unless I find out he's going to be somewhere sooner than that. I don't like the idea of losing the momentum... I've been verbally berating myself since Sunday, and I don't think I can maintain the intensity of it for a year... but who knows.

Obviously I've got a sort of "obsessive" type of personality. I don't mean obsessive as in I'm looking up where he lives and going to go sit outside til I get an autograph... but the type where I can focus on something that I want very badly and make plans on how to accomplish it. And at some point, my plans will come to fruition.

Some day, oh yes Mr. Franco some day you will sign my book and we'll smile at the camera together before you go on about your life never remembering that moment.

Vote please?

Hello anonymous readers... can you guys please take a moment to vote on the right hand side of the screen, and if the mood strikes you.. a comment would be nice?